Today is a brand new day. It's a day of firsts, at least one. Today marks 3 weeks that I've been free from cigarettes by my own choice. I've quit before, when I was pregnant, but that was only because I was pregnant. As soon as I gave birth, I went right back to smoking. Just the sound of that is unappealing. lol But it's the truth.
I've been smoking since I was 15, and if I knew that cigarettes would have this much of a hold on me, I never would've started. I can't even really pinpoint why I started smoking to begin with. Probably just pure curiosity, and the desire to be "older" than what I was. I didn't hang around a bunch of people that smoked, and my parents were in the process of quitting themselves. But I still wanted to see what it was all about.
My husband and I have tried to quit a few times in the past, but we never made it past day 4. Just enough time for one of us to crack, then the other would follow suit. But this time was very much an effort, like a REAL EFFORT! And the first week, was surprisingly easier than it was with previous attempts. I was good! I felt perfectly fine. I WAS IN CONTROL!!!! Unfortunately, the week after was a completely different story. It was quite the opposite. Anything that could go wrong, did go wrong, and there wasn't a person alive that could do or say anything right, especially the kids.
It was at this point that I realized how weak I've been to this addiction. Sure, it's not crack, but I was still held captive to this vice. I haven't even done the math on how much money I've spent on this. I don't even want to know. But I definitely wanted to confirm that if anyone knows anything about addiction, you'll agree that this is just as powerful as crack, meth, gambling, porn, shopping, etc. And this has honestly been the longest 3 weeks ever, but I'm proud to say that today is a new day, it's ONE MORE DAY, and it's another day that I've conquered something that has held me for far too long.